“Oh my goooooodness!” - You after reading this post.
Some people think figure skating is some foofy poofy sport where you gracefully skate across ice and dance in sparkles or whatever. I am here to tell you that is FALSE. Yes, there are dope, sparkly outfits...but *Oprah voice* THE TRUTH IS that can't be further from the...truth!
Harpo
Just look right here...
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
... SHE IS TWO INCHES FROM HER IMMINENT ICY DOOM.
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This. THIS. She could literally BELLYFLOP on ICE.
Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images
And like, dude, hold your arms out. SHE CAN'T FLY.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
Also, holy my canoli...
Geoff Robins / AFP / Getty Images
...GIRL, BE CAREFUL!
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Sorry, but I DO NOT trust this guy.
Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images
Get outta there!
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
Get down from there!
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Wait, you guys, SHE IS LITERALLY CLIMBING ON HIM WITH SKATES. *Shaking a bit*
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
She's basically crying out for help, people. HELP HER.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
There is so much happening here I am NOT comfortable with. Y'all are crazy!
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
WHY?!
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DON'T DO IT!!!
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Frankly, this is NOT going to end nicely.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
WHERE IS HIS HEAD?!
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
IT'S LIKE SHE WANTS TO DIE.
Tim Bradbury / Getty Images
"This is lovely." - Skater almost dying.
Tim Bradbury / Getty Images
I'M SORRY, but you are just asking for a thumb jam doing that!
Mandy Cheng / AFP / Getty Images
*Grandma voice* BE CAREFUL!
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
*Whoopi voice* "Girl, you in danger."
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PICK HER UP.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
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NO NO NO.
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"I deeply regret this, I think." - Her
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
WHAT IN TARNATION?!
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HER FACE SAYS IT ALL.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
"Oy, mista. You me dad?!" - Her, maybe.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
BREATHE, MAN. JUST BREATHE!!!
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YOU DO REALIZE THAT'S A BLADE, RIGHT?!?!
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IT'S LIKE HE GETS A SICK PLEASURE FROM IT.
Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images
*Rose on the raft voice* "Don't let go." - Her.
Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images
In conclusion, wowowowow. SHEESH MCGEESH. Figure skating is crazy, right?!
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