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I DON’T MAKE THE RULES, I JUST LIVE BY ‘EM.

TACOS

No one in the history of mankind has ever eaten a single taco. It's a rule of nature: birds fly, fish swim, humans eat two tacos.

Miflippo / Getty Images

HOT DOGS

Yeah, you can try eating just one. But then the first one would get lonely in your tum-tum.

Mikeygen73 / Getty Images

Who's ever heard of ONE waffle? It's ridiculous! Like a dog walking on two legs.

Viennetta / Getty Images

A guy from my high school ate one slice of pizza once and now he's in jail.

Olgna / Getty Images