Sorry, America, we are the Kings of Booze, and it’s about more than just the age limit.
We're allowed to drink at 18.
By the time you guys are pottering up excitedly to the bar for your first legal brew, we've already been getting tanked on cheap, terrible lager, legally, for three years – although realistically it's more like six. We're actually allowed to drink beer in our own homes from the age of five. FIVE. Because we like to start our alcohol dependence early.
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We can drink in parks.
And in the street, but that's not as classy. Drinking warm cans of cider in dilapidated parks with broken swingsets is basically how we British spend our formative years. There's nothing nicer than lying on the grass on a summer's day with a circle of mates and a brew – you should try it. Oh no wait, you can't. Because it's illegal. LOL.
You all drink light beer, we drink ~real~ beer.
While you're all kidding yourselves with your tiny cans of watery-tasting lager, we're drinking ale – aka beer that actually tastes like something. It can be dark and smoky, light and sweet like honey or even taste chocolaty – and it's often healthier than light beer too.
Seriously, what is the deal with the tiny cans?
For a country that likes everything to be huge, you sure do fuck up your drinking vessels.
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