“So. Many. Things. In. Butts.”
ABC
"I extenuated a patient (took their breathing tube out). When I asked if there was anything else he needed, he responded with 'a Vicodin and a butt plug.' Yeah, I'll get right on that."
"One day I was assigned a patient who, according to the nurse who had had her during the last shift, was halfway through a blood transfusion. Upon entering the patient's room I found a very distinguished-looking woman wearing multiple pieces of expensive jewelry, texting on a fancy phone and covered in blood. Apparently her friends' latest Facebook statuses were worth noticing, but the fact that her IV had been pumping type O into her sheets instead of into her veins was not."
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